Loving you has made me so insecure with myself. I dont feel sexy, smart, or worthy of anything that you have to give. I want to be perfect for you. You used to call me beautiful and sexy all the time, out of the blue, and it made me feel amazing but I dont want to rely on the past to “know” what you think of me. Im no Kim Kardashian and bringing her down doesnt help the way i feel. I want to know what you see when you look at me, because we are both too comfortable. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel needed. I want to feel like you dont know what you would do without me and that I AM the most beautiful and you wouldnt have it any other way. I know it sounds … desperate? No, very emotionally unstable and insecure…. but thats what I have become over these past 3 years. I know I have noone to blame but myself but Im passing the blame onto Blake, and to every girl that you have been with. Being constantly used and thrown out by him has done a number on me. I used to be the best youve ever had, because I was the only thing youve had. Now I feel like Im competing with every girl you have been with. Every girl that knows how to deep throat and can keep you hard when they are ontop. I love sex but there have been times when I have wanted to cry, during sex or during a blowjob because I dont feel Im good enough and that youre bored or thinking about the girl who did it better. I just need some goddamn reassurance. I could go on forever but its too early in the morning and I shouldnt be crying. There will be plenty more where this came from.