Tonight you kissed me goodnight. All I felt was the rough brush against my face from your stubble. I know our lips met. The stubble distracted me. It’s not the first time I have felt it, but it has never grabbed my attention over a kiss. I am losing it. The feeling that I have whenever you kiss me or hold my hand. I feel like every kiss you give me is forced and if I didnt make it known that I wanted that kiss in the first place, then it never would happen. I remember when every kiss, no matter how small, would send chills down my spine and make my whole body tingle. Now all Im left with is the rough feel of your stubble against my chin. 

I dont like to be a bitch but you make me defend every word out of my mouth like Im an idiot. I know Im not, but it still hurts. I wont ever feel good enough and you’ll be sure of that. 

I dont want to leave you and Im scared of the day that I will decide that I deserve better.