May 2011
1 post
Im pissed off and you will stat snoring in a minute or less.
I cant even write with the sound of your heavy breathing next to me. Its almost suffocating. I want to scream and I want to leave you but I know I never will.
January 2011
3 posts
Im so in love
and Im so scared that you are just too comfortable to leave.
Its been a while
Sex isnt any more frequent but Im not as upset about it.
I feel like we are friends and you have sex with me because you know Ill be mad if you don’t. Last night, we had sex for a whole five minutes. I didnt orgasm but I dont care about that. Im upset, no, Im hurt? discouraged? because you layed there on your back with your hands behind your head and your eyes closed and let me kiss you and...
November 2010
3 posts
I have to make you want me.
Sorry that Im not a fucking porn star.
My perfect arm.
The one thing left unscarred on my body, is now ruined.
……… and I keep expecting it to get better.
My life is like a broken record.
October 2010
6 posts
I understand your need to switch the roles around and despise me, for the fact that we didn’t last And I will be your punching bag if you’ll stay in my past I understand to want to have a mature dailogue is to much to ask And I will be your one regret if you’ll stay in my past
The LIST
Pros: The past. Good taste in music. Has dreams (con: keeps them hidden) Funny. Smells nice. Dresses well. Kissable lips. Good with kids. Family values. Cons: Doesnt listen. Doesnt pay attention to surroundings. Cant explain simple things. Calls names. Closed minded. Doesnt trust me. Pouts until I confont him. Yells. Cant hold a conversation. Angry at little things. Over dramatic. Bad posture....
It’s time I start mentally preparing myself for the breakup.
I was thinkging thqt I would be sorry for the next girl. But thats wrong. I think that when you find a girl that makes you feel like I used to before I broke your heart….. you will treat her perfectly. You will treat her like you love her. Like you used to treat me.
And I will be jealous of her.
Tonight you kissed me goodnight. All I felt was the rough brush against my face from your stubble. I know our lips met. The stubble distracted me. It’s not the first time I have felt it, but it has never grabbed my attention over a kiss. I am losing it. The feeling that I have whenever you kiss me or hold my hand. I feel like every kiss you give me is forced and if I didnt make it known that...
Eeverything is fine.
But I still miss the passion in your eyes and the urgency in your kiss.
September 2010
21 posts
I take back my pinky promise
I think Im going to leave you.
September twenty eighth, two thousand and ten
Our first night together.
Im sitting in Sam’s room at 1:15 am because he wont look at me, talk to me, or touch me. I have never met someone so touchy. He has officially ruined our first night in the same house. I don’t know why Im surprised since ruining nights and being a jerk seems to be a hobby of his. I reread an old tumblr post about how I was so in love. I don’t feel it...
BDH
You don’t exist and neither do your memories.
I regret every tear I shed over you. I regret every kiss. I regret everything I ever said that made you feel happy.
I regret giving you my heart.
I cheated on you, asshole. I hope you find out and I hope it kills you.
I hope you learn some kind of lesson later on. I sure learned mine.
Trust NO ONE.
Even though you’re already mine, I wish for you every 11:11
“Got caught in your web
And I learned how to plead
I was prey in your bed
And...”
– Christina Aguilera
I know I should leave you.
Just because you knew how to treat me before, doesn’t mean that it excuses you treating me like trash now.
I swear I wont lie anymore after this.
For someone who wants me to deep throat so bad, and has no problem shoving their dick down my throat while tears come down my face, I dont understand the big deal of buying sex mints for me that numb it.
What boyfriend, would turn down buying their girl shit so they can give him better head??
Im glad I got this job at hustler because I was excited to try new things and experiment with him. But...
I want to be perfect to you, physically.
It doesnt make sense to let go of something that you have wanted for so long, but it also doesnt make sense to hold on when it seems there’s nothing there.
Is it so wrong of me to want to hold you every single moment?
Are we just holding onto the things we don’t...
“I cant take back things already gone, but I could give you promises to keep....”
Its time I stop with this tumblr. I dont want this to become a whiney diary and with the way things are, that is all it can be.
Youre a different person completely. You say everything will be perfect but we obviously have 2 different definitions of what perfect is. I cant imagine you being romantic and sweet. It doesnt fit who you are anymore and Im sure it would only seem weird if you tried....
I’m so scared that you love me, but you will meet someone who makes you feel how I used to make you feel and you will fall in love with her.
August 2010
5 posts
By starlight I’ll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I’ll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And all along, we knew we’d carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
Listen
“Buenas noches mi hermosa mariposa”
July 2010
12 posts
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Come...
Something has changed. I have never fought with anyone the way we did. We are talking now as if nothing ever happened, but it replays in the back of my mind. I see you in a different light and I’m not sure how to explain it. I used to be sure. I don’t know anymore.
This is not what I remember love feeling like. It must be because you are not here. Over 200 miles away and I feel a strain. I could never do long distance.
I just want to hold you and kiss you, but its impossible for now.
Loving you has made me so insecure with myself. I dont feel sexy, smart, or worthy of anything that you have to give. I want to be perfect for you. You used to call me beautiful and sexy all the time, out of the blue, and it made me feel amazing but I dont want to rely on the past to “know” what you think of me. Im no Kim Kardashian and bringing her down doesnt help the way i feel. I want to know...
Some people search their whole lives for what I found in your eyes.
I want to be your first thought in the morning and the last thought before you dream.
Must be dreaming.
Im writing just because my busy mind wont let my eyes rest or the smile fade off my face. All my emotions are heightened but I don’t want to stop it. Im riding this wave of feeling all the way through. It is happening so fast. Our history cushions the fall and shows me how real this is. Years of your endless love has pushed me to give into you. Give into your voice, your touch, your kiss,...
The moon leads us into each others arms,
Whispering the truth.
We were never meant to leave.
Mistakes set aside making room for love.
My heart is as vast as the sea
The music we make fills the limitless sky
Glistening stars tell me to stay
Ill make this promise to you, for us;
As long as they shine
Ill be in your arms
Listen
